When you are taken care of and loved unconditionally, when in a relationship of trust, respect, and love you open each other up in new and exciting ways (Mentally, emotionally, and sexually). It is a relationship of ongoing comfort and communication. A wise woman (Bessie Wilson in her Constancy series, cd 1) once said, “We cannot love adequately unless we have experienced the love of God.” I see people all the time who are seeking “the next best thing.” Searching for that higher peak, but what they do not and cannot realize is that they are forever stuck on a plateau. Without the love of Christ and the forgiveness of sins, they will not experience “true love.” Yes, love is also work, we can all say this. But the question is how do you work it out? Or do you? When can you say “I’ve done enough”? But this is a very selfish love. Whether it’s a matter of one night stands or a marriage of unfulfillment, we are looking only to ourselves if this is what we are doing. And when self is no longer getting fed, and vanities aren’t kept up, then the other person is told, “Well, I just don’t love you anymore, it’s time to move on to look for someone who will fulfill my wants, my desires again.
Many good intending people think that they can start a marriage and with enough “work” they can make it last. It is more convenient to leave God out of their thoughts and out of their marriage so when it “just doesn’t work out” they will be accountable to no one, they can be judged by no one. There is some truth in that, no man can judge, but it is a fool’s mistake to think that God will not.
In the same talk Bessie states, “There is no true love without forgiveness. If you do not know how to forgive, you don’t know how to love.” Love is not a passive action. It is active, something we should grow deeper into allowing it to stretch us even to the point of pain. It is not something we discover one day, but something we must actively be searching out and applying to those we love...with patience. (1 Cor 13)